Monday, November 8, 2010

The real reason I am not a Twilight pusher

I love the Twilight Saga. I love the books and I love the movies. I love sparkly teenaged vampires. I love them unconditionally and irrevocably. And don’t forget irrationally, because I am nothing if not irrational when it comes to Twilight.  

But I've never pushed anyone to read Twilight. And I probably never will.  Why not? If I love it so much, then surely I'd want to share it with the world....

Well first of all, I believe most of the world already knows.  I jumped onto the Twilight bandwagon pretty damn late, but I make up for my tardiness with my enthusiasm! SQUEEEEEEE!

Next is that small part of me that I do my best to ignore... the part that is embarrassed by my love for all things Twilight. I used to be a rational woman. Stephenie Meyer changed that woman when she dreamt up Edward Cullen. And then Robert Pattinson absolutely ruined her.

Let’s be honest, I’m pretty sure none of us will ever say that Twilight is the best novel ever written. We love the characters and their love story. We love the thrill of first love.  We love fantasizing about ridiculously hot boys. We love reminiscing through rose-coloured glasses.  But what we have never claimed to love is the writing. Sorry Stephenie, as much as these are my favourite books, they are not the best books I’ve ever read.

But the most important reason is this: I’m selfish.

I know it’s just a story. I know Edward Cullen is a fictional character. And I know there is enough love to go around, but there are some people that I am just not willing to share Edward with!

That means you, lady with the office next to mine. You might be one of the nicest people I know IRL, but I will not share Edward with you. I refuse.  You are not allowed love him. I forbid it. You would be his kryptonite. His magic would cease to be.  It would be the end of the world as we know it.

You have no interest in RPattz, you say? You don’t get it? I should get over it?!  Perfect. Let's keep it that way. I don't want to and you can't make me!

This also means you, mom. I know I was in full on Twilight mania when you suggested you might read it.  I practically had Midnight Sun memorized, and couldn't put it down even after reading it 4 times in a row.  My hardcover Twilight Saga Collection never made it under the Christmas tree. Same with my Twilight DVD, which I stealthily sliced open and watched every day for about 2 weeks before Mr. NotSmitten realized. Sorry mom, but there is no way in hell I will ever allow you to read Twilight. It's just too embarrassing.

The only thing worse I can imagine would be if you suddenly discovered fanfiction!

Thankfully the only thing she can discover online are annoying emails to forward.


  1. I remember there being stages to all of this, and I remember the, slightly embarrassed stage, as well as the, I don't really want to share this stage.

    With me, these feelings they just kept growing until they were uncontainable.. like I just had to talk about it or I would burst... THANK GOD for the net.. and the blogs...

    And then I started to not be so hidden, I figured if I liked it then I liked it and I didn't care if anyone else did or what they thought. And I absolutely friggen LOVE IT when a woman looks at me after finding out I adore Rob and says "I don't get it" or "I don't see it" I smile... like the friggen Cheshire cat.. and nod. I say to them "That's ok" but in my mind I'm thinking "One less pair of stilettos between he and I... my plan is working"

    Sure, I'm a little nuts, but it's in a sweet adorable kind of way I think.

  2. I get it! When I found Twilight I pushed slightly and had some company in it in the RL but once I found blogs it was less important to 'recruit' anyone and more important just to enjoy it all for myself.

    Edward's other vampire power--He makes us feel selfish.

    So be it!


Something (for me) to look forward to!