Friday, January 28, 2011

Perving is contagious

Ok, I already knew this. I can perv on Rob all by myself (I'm talented like that), but put me with a group of like-minded h00rs *ohai twitter* and the perviness factor grows. Hard.

But what I only discovered recently is this: Once you start perving on one 20-something guy, you start noticing all the other not-as-hot-but-still-hot 20-something guys out there!!

Obviously it started with this:

Which let to this:

And then this:

Were boys this hot when I was in my 20's? I don't think so. I certainly don't remember that. I had the prerequisite Leonardo DiCapprio obsession during the Titanic days, but let's be honest, Leo was never this hot.

Recently though, I find myself seeing more of the men outside of my little Twilight bubble.  It's like Twilight opened my eyes.

Or maybe it just made me really horny.

Now I see great guys everywhere. Cute, handsome and funny guys like this (I know, some of those guys aren't in their 20's, but I didn't realize that til I was in the middle of the post, so tough!):

And to be fair to the men in my own age-bracket, they are plenty hot too!

Granted, the perv factor is nowhere near that of the Precious, but still; I enjoy the eye candy!

Lately though..... well, I've been cheating. A LOT!!!  Obviously Rob still holds first place, but number 2 climbed the list with record speed. And he isn't going to give up his quest for top spot. 

Ladies, I'd like you to meet Charlie Hunnam.

I first discovered Charlie playing pretty boy Lloyd on the short-lived but awesome sitcom Undeclared. He was also on Queer as Folk, which unfortunately is on my "always wanted to watch but never did" list. And now, he plays Jax (Jackson) Teller on the FX show Sons of Anarchy. I love SOA. FLOVE IT!! It's an amazing show with a fantastic cast. Katey Sagal just won a Golden Globe for her role as Jax's mom Gemma.  Have you seen it? Well, what are you waiting for?  Need motivation? I can provide that. 

Need more? Well h00rs here it is: Charlie isn't shy about showing off his body. Jax frequently appears au natural. Many an episode finds me ogling Jax's fine nekkid ass. His chest, back and legs are amazing too (though, try as I might, I didn't get a glimpse of anything else).  Trust me, it's worth looking, you'll agree once you've seen him! Unfortunately google didn't cooperate in my search for an image, no matter how many euphamisms I used for ass, but I'll share this in hopes it entices you enough.

So there you have it. Not only am I a h00r, but I'm a cheating h00r. And I refuse to feel guilty about it. I have to share Rob with a bazillion others, the least he can do is share me with one. 

And now I'll share some a few of my favourite candids of Rob. Y'know, so you don't kick me out of the club! 

Until next time h00rs... Keep on pervin'!

Update: Sorry about the weird spacing. Blogger is not cooperating.

Monday, January 17, 2011

With you in my head

Hey you! Yeah, Robert Pattinson, I’m talking to you!

I know, I haven’t been around much lately. Sorry. Life is busy, and occasionally I need to pay it some actual attention.

So I haven't actually had a chance to sit down and watch the Golden Globes yet, but rest assured, you looked AMAZING last night! So handsome. Nobody rocks a suit like you do. NOBODY!!! In case you don’t believe me, here’s some proof.

Spontaneous orgasm in 3, 2, 1
Imma sucker for head-to-toe photos.
You hear me Rob?!  No? I said I'm a SUCKER....
And a swallower.

I don’t suppose you realize just how many of us watch and wait for mere glimpses of you.  Of course you don’t, because a) there are too many of us fuckawesome ladies to count, and b) you are so humble. I know you are wonderful to your fans Rob, but maybe, just maybe you could think about giving us a little more. Don't worry, I'm not talking about much effort on your part, just spend a few evenings out at the pub or go on another shopping spree with Tom.  And while you are doing that for us, as an added bonus you receive quality time with your BFF, some booze and maybe even some new undies. It’s a win-win situation! 

See, doesn't this look like fun!

C'mon, look at those smiles. You know you miss him!!!

But just so you know, no matter if you aren’t showing your beautiful face, or I’m all caught up IRL; You, Mr. Pattinson, are never far from my thoughts.

You are there during the obvious, like reading or watching Twilight.  You will always be Edward for me.  Please don’t misunderstand: that doesn’t mean I can’t see you playing other characters, it’s just that I could never see anyone else as Edward.

mmmmmmmm sparklishish!

You’re always there when I read the blogs. Oh how I love Twitardia (see previous reference to fuckawesome ladies).  These h00rs make me smile, cringe, cry, LOL and feel like one of the gang, instead of like some sort of crazy-loser-freak who’s in love with a celebrity she’ll probably never meet.

And don't forget fanfiction, you're there too!! DUH! And not just while I'm reading and daydreaming about lemons! The other day Mr. NotSmitten watched some special behind-the-scenes NHL program and all I could think  about was you and the fuckhawt locker room sex from the Misapprehension of Bella Swan!

But even outside of my little Twilight bubble, there you are.

Whether I'm in my bedroom or at the office, all I have to do is look to one side to see pictures, calendars and my stashes of Robp0rn. You're on my computer and my cell phone. And if I had more electronic devices, you'd be all over them as well!!!

I can’t sit down at the piano without thinking of you... even if I'm playing Chopin instead of Bella's Lullaby or The Meadow.

Sex on a piano never sounded so appealing!

I daydream about you as I sing my kids to sleep.

To be serenaded by you is at the top of my "non-dirty things to do with Rob" wish list.
Though if you prefer to tackle something on the dirty list that's fine by me!

As I play games with my kids, my mind wanders to how adorkably awkward you look holding a baby. And then I try, in vain, to make my ovaries and uterus shut the fuck up. I gave up trying to control the vag long ago, she’s completely out-of-control since you came into our life!
The only way I'm having another, is if it's last name is Pattinson.

I can’t even read a book without thinking of you.  That is, if I can even read new books - since discovering the Twilight Saga, I've been mostly limited to authors I already enjoy, and books that are being made into movies starring you (can't wait to read Cosmopolis). But on the rare occasion that I do pick up a new novel, I am inevitably trying to determine if any of the characters would suit you.
You can drive me. Anytime. Anywhere.

But it doesn't stop there. Even when I don’t believe you are meant to play a character, somehow I still see you.  A few months back Thinking of Rob did a poll to see what character everyone thought you should play, and one of the characters, Jamie Fraser, is one of my favourite all-time protagonists. 

The Outlander book series was my favourite before Twilight, and (GASP) probably still is if I consider anything other than my irrational love of all things Twilight.  But to cast you, Robert Pattinson, in the role of Jamie Fraser? Um, NO!  Sorry, not possible. I just don’t see it. Jamie is a warrior, and as much as I love you, I just can't see you that way.

However, the idea was planted in my brain... And now as I re-read the series for the zillionth time, I see you.... I see you in the way Jamie runs his hands through his hair, in the sidelong glances he gives people and in his crooked smiles. Plus, picturing you in a kilt puts a big smile on my face!!!

So, as you can see, you're pretty much always there. Don't worry, I'm not complaining.  I prefer it this way.  I can't even cook dinner without thinking of you!

This picture makes me happy I live in lobster country!

So there you have it. A little glimpse of my life With You In My Head.